26 just might be my new favorite number.
My favorite number has always been the number 3, 100% likely because I am born on August 3rd. I like to think that maybe it’s special. I’m pretty sure many of us are bias to our own birth dates. However, I think 26 is going to be an extra special number, and a special year for me too.
Right now I’m happier than I have been in a very long time. In the past couple months, I made some important decisions that have already altered my life and pushed it into a much more positive realm. I won’t dig through every detail, as much of it includes very personal life choices, however what I can say is that my newfound positivity has brought me to this happy place that only seems to get happier. I have my two beautiful parents to thank in part for that.
I have been able to dedicate more time to my education and studies, as well as to Mind Over Mango too. My recent decisions have opened up opportunities that have allowed me to exercise my freedom more fully. It has allowed me to do more of what I love, and less of what made me sad. I was struggling for a very long time in my personal life. In turn, I eventually stopped taking care of myself, and was not invested in nurturing my physical or mental health. I had no energy, and cared very little about the quality of my own life. By the end of it all, I would wake up every morning and the first thing I would do was cry. I was completely spent.
I was focusing all of my energy towards things that ended up consuming my entire life. I gave these things everything I had until I realized that I had nothing left inside of me for myself. This left me in a constant state of depression and caused me to feel that I was a huge failure and simply put, a loser. My anxiety was a never ending cycle, and I felt inconceivably tormented day in and day out. I was convinced that the struggles I was facing were inescapable until other people or situations had changed. What I didn’t realize is that I was the one that needed to make a change, not the other way around.
Now, I don’t regret anything that I was doing, which might sound strange given the state of my life I was just describing. In fact, they were all things I was doing for the right reasons and were actually for people I love very deeply. However, I finally discovered that it was time to put myself first for once. I needed to take a leap of faith that my life could feel beautiful again. I feared that if I stepped away from the responsibilities I had at first willingly taken on, that I would be failing all of those around me, more specifically, my family.
I did something that has always been hard for me in times of emotional need: I decided to turned to my parents to ask for help. I realized recently that I needed to be set free from my continuing troubles and without asking for help, I knew I would be unable to do it on my own.
Since then, things in my life have miraculously turned the corner. My mind feels like it can flow freely again, without being constantly weighed down and constrained by thoughts and feelings of the hardships I was enduring on a daily basis. I feel beautiful, hopeful, and grateful again. I truly believe that had I not asked for their help, I would not be in the position I am now. Many positive things have walked into my life since the day I decided it was time to be happy again.
So thank you to my Mother and Father for giving me everything you have and more. You have guided me when I have been blind, lost, and alone. I know that someday I will have the same strength and resilience that both of you possess. I am so incredibly happy to begin a new year of life. I love you both with all my heart.
I also want to say thank you and I love you to my amazing Nana. I have learned and experienced a lot through her, things I never imagined I would, and I hope that I can still make her happy and proud despite a change of path in my life.
An additional thank you to all of my other loved ones, my readers, and to all of my followers. You have collectively been a huge motivation for me to turn over a new leaf.
P.S. I decided to get a little cinematic in my photo shoot to start off my new year of life on a fresh note. Enjoy. 🙂 💙